Batman Smells
by cocopops1995
Summary: Batman, Robin and Nightwing are on a boring Stake out when Robin thinks of a funny song he heard


**AN: ****So I'm super tired right now, which makes me random… You have been warned… Enjoy :) Also, I don't celebrate Christmas so this is not meant to be a Christmas fic, just a random drable that just so happens to use a Christmas parody type song thingy.**

**Batman Smells**

Yet another long and boring stake out… Luckily this time Robin and Nightwing where together, staking out the front of the building while Batman watched the back, so they could keep each other from dying of boredom.

"Still nothing, Batman." Robin reported, again.

"Same here." Batman answered and Robin could swear he heard a hint of boredom in the Dark Knight's voice too.

Suddenly a conversation he'd had with one of his friends at school earlier that day popped into his mind and he smiled at the memory.

"What's so funny?" Nightwing asked, noting the smile on his face.

Robin smiled wider and made sure his communicator was on so that Batman could hear the conversation too. Nightwing eyed him suspiciously.

"I was just thinking about a conversation I had with one of my friends at school today." Robin said

"Okaaaay...?" Nightwing said

"Yeah, we were discussing funny 'cover songs' for well-known songs. You know like that one Barney song they sing like '_I love you, you love me. Let's team up and kill Barney. With a baseball bat and a four by four: no more purple dinosaur!'_"

Nightwing chuckled and he heard Batman snort over the communicator

Robin chuckled too, "Yeah so we were swapping songs, right, and she gave me this _one," _he continued, "When she finished singing it I practically fell off my chair I was laughing so hard. Of course she couldn't understand why I thought it was just _so funny_!" Robin was already starting to laugh at it again

"What was it?" Nightwing asked eagerly

Robin giggled again before composing himself, "It went '_Jingle-'_"

"I have movement, get inside now." Batman cut him off

"Ahw come on!" Nightwing complained as he and Robin shot out lines and swung into the building.

Luckily this stake out didn't go as badly as the last one. The bad guys were quickly beat senseless and tied up. As soon as the police had the men in custody Batman decided to call it a night since it was already 3 in the morning and Robin did actually have school in the morning. Alfred was not going to be happy with Bruce for keeping him out so late on a school night.

Alfred was waiting for them with a tray of finger food and drinks the batmobile entered the cave. After grabbing a mini chicken mayo on rye sandwich off Alfred's platter Dick turned to Tim who was just taking a sip of his tea "So how did that song go?" he asked him.

Batman didn't catch his meaning for about 2 seconds before remembering the story that Robin had been telling them before. He glanced at Robin who now had a slightly sly smile on his face.

"Oh right! Almost forgot about that," he said, setting his cup of tea down again. Batman suddenly had the strangest feeling that whatever was going to come out of his mouth was bound to be… interesting.

Tim started to sing: "_Jingle bells, Batman smells, Nightwing ran away! He hid behind a car, made a fart and blew up Pick 'n Pay*, hey!" _

There was a silence in the batcave as Bruce, Dick and Alfred stared at Tim. Bruce's face was blank (as usual), Dick looked like he was trying to decide whether or not he had heard right and Alfred looked amused yet annoyed at the same time (he was probably annoyed at the "fart" part as it was "improper to discuss such things")

Then Dick burst out laughing. "Oh… my… soul" he got out between laughs, "I can't decide… which part… is funnier! The part where Batman smells… or where…. Nightwing farts… and blows a building up!" Dick wiped a tear from his eye before sobering up a little before turning to Bruce, "Looks like I'm not the only one who's picked up on the smell, Batman!" Dick started laughing again; possibly harder than before. Tim, who had been laughing all along, started laughing harder too and Alfred was obviously trying to keep his laughter in.

Bruce snorted before smirking at Dick, "I don't know what you're talking about, Nightwing, but I must agree; your gas could very well blow a building up!"

"You're one to talk, Master Bruce. I do believe that the gas you sometimes let go could blow up an entire city block!"

The laughter in the cave came to an abrupt halt as Bruce, who was suddenly a little red in the face, Tim and Dick gaped at Alfred in shock.

Bruce was quick to recover though, "Well then, old man, the gas I've smelt coming from your direction would be enough to take out half of Gotham City!"

Suddenly Dick was rolling on the floor at and Tim was clutching his sides, tears streaming from both their faces as they howled with laughter.

"Master Bruce!" Alfred complained; looking very embarrassed indeed.

Bruce actually chuckled, "Don't 'Master Bruce' me, Alfred. You went there first!"

The laughter in the batcave grew louder as Dick and Tim laughed even louder and Bruce added his own laughter to the noise. The resident bats of the cave flitted around restlessly, unaccustomed to the strange, happy melody resonating throughout the cave.

**AN: Okay, don't ask me where that came from, the whole "fart-off" was not something I had planned, it kinda just came as I wrote… but I had much fun righting it though! The ending kind of sucked, I know but I couldn't think of anything better… though if I do I will fix it. Hope you guys had as much fun reading it as I did writing! Let me know what you guys thought! Oh and the Batman Smells song originally said that Robin ran away but this story just worked better with Dick being the one involved in the song and I couldn't think of anyone from his Robin days who would be working with him and Bats and coming in to the cave and all that stuff you know…**

*** Pick n Pay is a supermarket native to South Africa… I don't know of any supermarkets that are known worldwide that rhyme with "hey" so yeah, you guys are just gonna have to deal with it [she says in a sweet voice while attempting to batglare] ;P**

**-Coco out!**


End file.
